Headspaces
by Jetom
Summary: When an order comes from the capital for mandatory psychological evaluations for the Scouting Legion, a psychiatrist is sent to determine whether they are fit for duty. We'll see who is crazier by the end... just something small which I will be adding to randomly :)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: this is just a bit of fun really, please review/comment to tell me what you think** **J**

PROLOGUE

Erwin stared at the memo on his desk with an expression which somehow managed to combine frustration, resignation and a faint sprinkling of disgust. Those gits in the capital had really outdone themselves this time.

 _In light of the recent stresses experienced by the Scouting Corps, we hereby demand mandatory psychological evaluations to be conducted on all members. Until this has been carried out, the 57_ _th_ _Recon Mission is officially on hold. Please give all due respect and courtesy to the assessor who will arrive at some point in the next week._

It had been sent a little over three days before, and now he was sitting across from the person who would decide whether the Legion was fit for service. The man was younger than he had been expecting, of average height with a slim build and slightly unruly auburn hair. There was an air about him, a sort of eagerness which in all honesty grated slightly on the Commander's nerves.

"A pleasure to meet you Commander Erwin, my name is Dr Mendarl and I am here to… well obviously you know why I am here." His small attempt at humour was met with the raising of a single bushy eyebrow. The psychiatrist didn't seem to let it phase him. "So, I would like to get started with this as soon as possible, although naturally I don't wish to interrupt the daily routine around here.

Erwin snorted softly, since word of the evaluations had gotten out the whole place seemed to be in uproar, as half the Scouts burned with the indignity of such a request and the others worried about the result. Personally he was torn somewhere between the two. "I will send each Scout to you as and when their duties allow. This may make for a slightly random mix, but I am sure you understand the difficulty of organising all this at such short notice." His tone was almost enough to spread frost across the desk.

"Well, I had better get to work then." And without further ado the doctor excused himself, heading to the room which had been assigned as his temporary office.

Once the door had closed behind him, Erwin rested his head against his hand and leaned his elbow against a pile of papers. This was going to be a very long week.


	2. JEAN

JEAN

Dr Mendarl looked over the rim of his glasses at the boy sitting across from him, flicking his eyes briefly down to the file on the desk, and then back up. The kid shifted a little, reaching a hand up and running it through his two tone hair. The psychiatrist smiled at him.

"So, Jean isn't it? Nice to meet you."  
He only got a brief nod in response. Alright then…  
"Well, you no doubt know why I am here, so I guess I will just come out and ask you- how are you doing?"

"Seriously? No deep analytical mumbo jumbo? How am I doing?"  
"Yes, how are you doing?"  
"Umm, fine I guess. Can I go now?"  
The older man smiled again, "Not quite, I just have a few more things to cover. You are one of the cadets from the 104th right? Fought in the battle for Trost."  
"Yep."  
"I heard you lost a friend in that fiasco. Marco?"

The look which the kid shot in his direction was harsh enough that he had to resist the urge to gulp.  
"I don't talk about that. At least not with some random guy I don't know. Look, what do you really want to know? Whether I am mentally stable right? Well relax because I am. In fact, out of all the people in this outfit I am probably one of the few who are within the realms of 'normal' on the crazy spectrum."

The psychiatrist scribbled down some notes, face unreadable, then looked back at the teenager who was now sitting with crossed arms. "So, how is your relationship with your mother?"


	3. SASHA

SASHA

The psychiatrist was staring wide eyed at the girl in front of him, a brief look at the clock revealed that she had been talking non-stop for a full ten minutes, and if he was honest most of it sounded like nonsense. She had sat down saying, "Hello I am Sasha." And the next thing he knew she was off.

"… So I ate that _one potato_ that _one time_ and suddenly that is all I am ever remembered for 'Sasha the Potato Girl'. Dammit that nickname stuck fast because of Jean, he can be a real pain in the neck you know? And I swear he always manages to snag a bigger portion than me at meals, although he is probably just trying to bulk up to catch Mikasa's eye. That is never going to happen by the way, seeing as she only cares about Eren, and Armin I guess, but either way that Horse Face doesn't stand a chance. That was the name he got tagged with by the way, courtesy of Eren, which is another reason why they don't get along. He is not so bad though you know, can actually cook fairly well, or at least he managed to beat me in a contest set up by Pixis but that was because of my own stupidity, and frankly I still think meat trumps omelette every time. Although, nothing beats a really good steak sandwich…"

And so she babbled on, whilst the head doctor felt pretty sure that his was about to explode…


	4. KRISTA

"So, your name is...?"  
"Krista Lenz, sir." She said it with a smile so sweet it was almost sickly, yet it somehow made him blush. Her file was a bit thinner than some of the others, and seemed to be almost entirely positive, although it did suggest that she could be a bit tougher.

"Right, right, so tell me Krista- how are you coping in the Survey Corps?"  
She seemed to think about it for a moment, "Well, I am actually doing alright so far, I really enjoy taking care of the horses in particular. Although, we are yet to go outside the walls so I can't say for sure." She tucked some stray golden hair behind her ear and for a moment looked absolutely radiant. "I just hope that we all make it through safely."

He was actually staring at her for a moment, before clearing his throat, "And how do you think you would react if something did go wrong. This is a dangerous job you have picked after all. Imagine if you saw a comrade die in front of you…"

"Oh god that would be awful! I want to fight the titan's so that humanity can survive, and I know the risks involved of course. I have seen friends… at Trost… but I try not to think… excuse me please!"

The man sat stunned as the girl ran from the room, tears beading in her eyes, feeling like a terrible person for reasons he couldn't even define.


	5. YMIR

"You made Krista cry." His next appointment had barged into the office without knocking, leaning over the desk and coming right into his personal space. "Nobody makes her cry. You hear me? Nobody. I don't care who you are or what you are doing here. You better watch yourself. Because if you ever make her upset again, I will end you."

It was said with a cold fury which made his mouth go dry as he tried to swallow, nodding his head until she was satisfied that the message had got through. After she left, it was with a shaking hand that he crossed Ymir off the list of cadets still to see.


	6. ARMIN

The psychiatrist was studying the boy in front of him, slightly surprised to realise that he was being analysed just as much in return. The blonde's file had raved about his apparent intelligence- 'strategic genius' being repeated at least three times, along with a personal note of endorsement for Commander Pixis himself.

"So tell me Armin, how are you finding life as a scout?"  
"That is not such a good way to start off a session you know. As a question it may seem very open ended, but considering the fact that nobody is here voluntarily I am guessing you keep getting short responses of 'fine' or the like. Don't take it personally. It might be better to ask something like: 'what is your favourite animal' you know, something a bit silly and seemingly neutral but which you can then start a proper conversation with. That way we would all probably be a bit more at ease with opening up. Just a thought."

The man was staring at him, but it didn't seem to put the kid off, his gaze seeming to turn inward as he carried on speaking. "Hmm, but as to your general line of enquiry… I think you could probably diagnose me with some sort of inferiority complex, given how I tend to see myself as a burden on my friends. This is after they have told me how much they rely upon me by the way, so it is something I am working on to beat. What else? I guess sometimes I can be a bit too calculating, I have a habit of shoving my feelings aside when I get stressed to try and deal with things logically, so every now and again I my blow my lid and then settle down again.

As to traumatic experiences… well I have had a boatload of those, including watching my best friend die and then come back as a titan. Honestly I doubt that I will ever try and deal with those feelings, just push them down into some dark corner of my mind until they are only part of my nightmares. You know?"

His only response was to blink.  
"Yeah of course you know, sorry, dumb question. Everyone gets nightmares after all. What are yours about?"  
The psychiatrist licked his lips, "Me? Well, I tend to have dreams where I am a kid in class and forgot my homework or something else trivial, but it feels incredibly important at the time."  
"I see, so you probably have confidence issues as well… so I am guessing you were given this assignment and didn't feel like you could refuse… how do you feel about that?"

Half an hour later and Armin gave him a pat on the back as he left the office to attend to his chores, whilst the psychiatrist leaned back in his chair, scrubbed the drying tears from his face, and felt the first truly happy smile he had given in a very long time tug at his lips…


	7. MIKE

"Umm, why did you sniff me?"  
He only got a small smile as an answer, so decided to brush it aside and carry on as professionally as possible.  
"Alright, I am going to start with what might seem like a random question: what is your favourite animal?"  
"A dog."  
"And why is that?"  
"They have a great sense of smell."  
"I see…"


	8. HANJI

"Ok then Squad Leader Hanji, we are going to try what is called word association. I am going to say a word, and you say whatever the first thing is that pops into your head."  
"Alright."  
"Ready? Ok, let's start with… work"  
"Titans."  
"Play."  
"Titans."  
"Child."  
"Titans."

He sighed, "Look, I realise you probably don't want to talk about your feelings, but I need you to answer me honestly."  
She looked genuinely hurt for a moment, before her glasses seemed to flash with rage. "I have been completely honest."  
"Really? How do you link child and titan?"  
"Duh- my titans are like my children to me. Sawney and Bean were so precious…" and she actually started tearing up.

Hastily he apologised, getting her to agree to continue with the session. "Hot."  
"Titans."  
"Wall."  
"Titans."  
"Breakfast."  
"Titans."

The psychiatrist only avoiding face palming through pure professionalism.


	9. REINER

_Hi there! sorry it took so long for the next update. thanks so much for all the reviews! so encouraging :D as requested REINER is up next. this one is perhaps a little darker than some of the others... let me know what you think and who should be next! Hope you are having a good day :)_

"Hello… Reiner, do you mind if I call you Reiner?"  
"Not at all." The smile from the teen, though small, was somehow reassuring.  
"Alrighty then, let's get started shall we? Now from what I hear, you are quite protective of your squad mates."

For some reason the kid shifted slightly, "Yeah I guess you could say that. I want to be there for them you know? Sometimes people just need a little push to help them along."  
"And would you say you were good at that? Breaking through people's boundaries so to speak?"  
"Umm… I guess that is one way to put it."  
"But don't you ever find that a strain? It doesn't matter how thick skinned you are, eventually something is going to break that emotional armour of yours."  
His patient fidgeted again, coughing a little into one hand. "That, uhh, I don't think that has happened yet."

Dr Mendarl could practically feel the teen begin to close off, becoming more reluctant to respond as the session continued. Desperately, he tried to find some common ground… "Well from all reports you are an exemplary soldier for humanity." That got a small smile and slight frown, odd combination, but he carried on, "this is after all a strange sort of war which we are caught in. Not like the wars we read of in history where we would attack the enemy in their stronghold, eliminate them from the source so to speak. Imagine that- being able to just march into the titan's hometown and destroy them."

He looked at Reiner expectantly, as if waiting for the kid to make some comment, then frowned when he saw the blonde's rapidly paling complexion. "Excuse me sir, I am not feeling that good." And he was left staring at empty air as the cadet ran from the room.


	10. BERTHOLDT

**So, as requested it is Bertholdt up next** **J** **hope you guys like! Thanks for everyone who has reviewed so far- feels good to know that people are enjoying this! Let me know who should be up next :D**

Dr Mendarl's neck was already starting to ache from trying to look up at his latest patient. The kid was at least two feet taller than himself even sitting down. They had only been talking for about five minutes, but the boy seemed about to dissolve into a puddle any second.  
"So, umm, I hear that you are good friends with Reiner. From the same village aren't you?"  
"Yeah- we are really close."

The psychiatrist tried to smile encouragingly, "you are lucky then- it's easier to adapt when you already have people to lean on."  
The kid just seemed to sweat a little more if that was even possible. Perhaps it was time for a more friendly approach. The adult leaned forwards slightly, "Look, I realise you lot don't really want to talk to me about all this sort of thing. Probably just seems… I don't know… like a colossal waste of time. But I am just trying to do my job- what I have been told needs to be done. Can you understand that?"

He almost missed the murmured response, "more than you realise." But took it as a good sign that he was engaging a little bit more. "So how about we talk about what you do to unwind in your spare time? Someone told me you enjoy playing football with some of the other cadets. Apparently you have a remarkably powerful kick…"

Apparently it was in fact physically possible for the kid to sweat _even more_ …


	11. LEVI

**A/N: hello there! shock horror yes I am actually still alive! sorry for the insanely long delay in getting up another chapter- lets just say that between mitigating circumstances and a lot of exams things got a bit hectic... :P anywhoo, thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed this so far, as requested I have tried to make this chapter longer, and the next victim is LEVI. let me know what you think! and as always, am open to suggestions of who should be next :) hope that wherever you are, you are having a good day! (and sorry for long note)**

LEVI

The psychiatrist couldn't supress a small thrill which ran through him as he looked at his latest patient. Sitting before him, with his trade mark expression of complete disdain, was none other than the living legend- Captain Levi himself. As much as he tried to contain himself, Dr Mendarl quite simply revelled in knowing that Humanity's Strongest, the best man in the Survey Corps, bane of the titans, was sitting opposite him.

Suddenly he felt almost tongue tied, as what could a mere mortal such as himself say to such a man. How on earth was he to address someone whose skill with a blade was unmatched in history, whose nobility and loyalty had become the stuff of myths? This was a unique opportunity to interact… dare he even think- to _befriend_ …

Pulling himself together, he cleared his throat, "So, Captain Levi, thank you for coming today."  
The Captain blinked slowly, and despite multiple laws of physics his scowl somehow managed to deepen.  
The doctor shifted slightly under the stern gaze. "I… umm, well I guess I should start by just coming out and saying the most straight forward question. I mean, you seem to prefer not beating around the bush, so to speak, much more of a direct approach to issues, naturally considering your job and the risks you face… so, yes you are right we should just get right down to brass tacks, as the saying goes… umm, how are you?"

A single eyebrow was raised, and Mendarl flushed slightly as he replayed his ramblings in his own head. "Umm, I mean how are you feeling? Recovering from the latest mission? Not of course that I am suggesting that you need time to recover, of course not, but I know it can be such a strain to be held in such high esteem by everyone. You are often put on a pedestal in many ways are you not? Magnified beyond perhaps what…" all at once his voice seemed to die in his throat, trailing off with a slight gurgle as the eyes of the man before him seemed to glint with murderous intent.

Uncertainly, he fiddled for a moment with his pen, waiting for some form of response… and then watched in abject horror as it slipped out of his sweaty grip, tumbling in slow motion onto the table top between the two men. On impact, ink blossomed in a miniature fountain, with a single daring drop soaring through the air as gracefully as any scout in 3DM gear. With horrified eyes the psychiatrist watched as that suicidal ink drop landed on the pristine white uniform trousers of the single most terrifying man in existence.

The dark eyes flashed, the lip curled into a sneer, and Captain Levi's entire being became the epitome of disgust. With a faint hiss of annoyance, the man abruptly stood and stalked from the room without a backward glance.

Stunned, Dr Mendarl stared at the now empty chair for a full five minutes, before finally gathering his wits enough and looking down at the folder he had been holding in his hands the whole time without even realising. Shaking slightly, he opened the file…

There, stapled to the top corner, partially covering the various facts and figures of titan kills and strangely cleaning awards, was a note in Erwin's own curly script.

 ** _A word of warning- don't mention his height_**

Another five minutes passed as he replayed the entire interaction over in his mind, before loudly thunking his head onto the desk… repeatedly…


End file.
